Cap'n Sumpter, endowed with the mind of an elephant, unfortunately trapped inside the body of an old scrooge, has gone on a money collecting rampage this month. The Editor who claims to manage more debt in his undies (he hates banks) than the International Monetary Fund does, has decided to pull his pants down and rake in the dosh. Amid howls of dismay from Staff Writers and Sanitary Engineers alike who claim that the whole affair smells a bit fishy, Garth continues to pursue the unfeasably large wads he "definitely knows" are owed to him.
Fave Games: SWIV, Heroquest.

Child prodigy Steve, first famous at the tender age of five when his song "I'll be Your Long Haired Lover from Hell" topped the charts and broke the sound barrier, has dissapeared from the office this month. A note on his desk reads "Gone to join the Foriegn Legion - heard Garth has started to collect in all the money people owe him. Back in two weeks time". Come back Steve, you daft hippy, before you get a dose of those much feared desert runny doo-dahs.
Fave game: Mystical.

Another new on S.U. this month - Matt Regan joining the crew from Mean Machines (the grotty console magazine). Matt, a distant relative of the famous B-movie U.S. President, Ronald, has swopped the velvet glove approach of MM Ed Jaz Rignall for the granite hand approach of Sergeant Rock Sumpter, the SU supremo. Asked to comment Matt replied: "Well Nicaragua is not an issue as far as I'm concerned and 'Ooops, now what's that red button for, Don?'"
Fave games: Mystical, L.E.D. Storm.

Al, the strolling SU reviewer of no fixed abode is apparently feeling very bad this month after eating a full packet of shredded wheat for a bet. The result: On a recent visit to Canterbury Alan was thrown out of the cathederalfor creaking loudly in the choir. "I just want to warn everyone about the horrors of too much fibre", he was quoted as saying from his desk in the toilet. Don't believe everything you see on T.V.!"
Fave games: Mystical, L.E.D. Storm.

Tone, a budding actor has started his new career with a vengeance having just opened in his very own west end musical, "Tony and his amazing technicolour dream trousers". He has also donated a pair of his magnificent pants to help house refugees in the middle east. Apparently Tony got the idea for the show while eating paella on a bad stomach during an MC Hammer advertisment for a certain well known soft drink.
Fave games: L.E.D. Storm, Sllghtiy Magic.