Garth Sumpter
The crew have been all over the M6 this month (no we haven't been hit by any juggernauts!) attending film premieres and mixing with the big Knobs! One dark night Steve was forced to share a hotel room with Garth in Birmingham (Separate beds natch!). Being a restless soul, Steve was constantly aware of a muffled whirring coming from Garth's corner of the room. When morning came Garth was up with the birds scouring the room with wet hair looking for a drier. Not finding it anywhere Steve put two and two together and thrust back Garth's bed clothes to reveal the appliance in the middle of the sheets. Now draw your own conclusions!

Matt Regan
Baby fever hit S.U. this week as Matt brought in his sprog, Thomas. Deciding that Garth's lap was the least smeggy one to place his little cherub on whilst Matt changed his own nappies in the BIG boys room, he left him perched on Sumpter's knee. Thomas, taking after his father in many ways, didn't give two rusks where he laid his belongings and covered our hero's trousers from head to toe in baby wastage. To which the ever cheerful Garth said, 'They needed a wash anyway!'

Andrea Walker
Never the one to shirk her responsibilities, Andrea has been supporting the English Heritage Trust by visiting Kenwood House and other such hoity-toity places. Recently she has been seen with a rich, tall, dark stranger of noble character and maturity. When questioned about the rumours by her boyfriend, Mike, she produced a tall bottle of claret and sneered in his direction 'And I never leave home without it!'
Fave game: Shadow Dancer.

Steve Keen
Mr Sun Tan has been desperate to keep out of the picture this month, since it's been over a month since he came back from holiday and his tan has faded fast. So paranoid about losing his bronzed appearance, for weeks he took to artificial tanning on beds, but, as all vanity stricken mortals know, the sessions soon added up and he therefore had to make do with cheap furniture varnish and creosote as a substitute. But being pioneering photo journalists we've secured this exclusive picture of the man behind the tan!

Yvette Nichols
Once regarded as a 'bit of a dag', to coin a phrase, Yvette has gone all out to wear as glamorous, which in her case turns out to mean as little, clothes as possible. Her wardrobe has expanded to include off the shoulder, deep scoop nylon tops and off the bum lycra dresses. It was too much for the crew to handle (excluding Andrea) and when she turned up wearing an 18th century aqua marine Elizabeth Frink crepe top, embroided with cornets of yasmin with matching Armani Fresian cow print skirt, it was all TOO much. So now it's back to jeans and T-shirts, but she can still get a seat on a crowded bus!