Think you know about computers? Then this isn't the Quiz for you. The Sinclair User Christmas Quiz has been especially designed for those who wouldn't know a bus it it ran them over and those who think chips were always better wrapped in newspaper. Could you make it in the computer world? Find out below:

1. Look impressed and say "tell me more"
2. Laugh hysterically
3. Offer financial backing
4. Pretend to be unwell and run to the loo.

1. From a colour advertisement in the Sunday Times
2. From Norman Bates (you can read the little plastic label on his nasty junior management type suit) who works in the computer department of the store.
3. From a man next to you in the shop who says he had just had to return his sixth computer because it does not work properly.
4. From Sinclair User magazine (Price £1.00 monthly)

1. Sparklers
2. Squibs
3. Squirts
4. Bangers

1. A mammoth multi-part graphic adventure that's taken five years to finish and pushes the Spectrum to its limits.
2. A serious but extremely useful business utility
3. Based on Sky Angels, a recent Hollywood blockbuster starring Tom Voyage, released on twelve formats, awful on every one.
4. Probably not actually going to be out by Christmas as such except possibly on the ST.

1. Belgravia
2. Rhyll
3. Tharg
4. Nooky Vale

1. Tharg
2. Ajax
3. Vim
4. Zircon

1. Ron
2. Brenda
3. Tharg
4. Tel

1. Introduce the editors of the magazines to Mugger Marty your new public relations man who says "I am an ex-paratrooper and member of the SAS and don't like to see bad fings written about Firework products."
2. Offer it to one magazine only, telling it the game is an exclusive, bring it over in a suitcase with two armed guards to emphasise the effect.
3. Take several pages of advertising space
4. Send over Brian Blunter, a company minion, to the magazines to ask discreetly "Eh, how much does it cost for a good review?"

1. Feel interested and offer him major coverage.
2. Think he's lying and resolve not to trust him an inch.
3. Suggest he arranges a lunch at Maxims for you both to discuss it further.
4. Ask to see the game without committing yourself
5. Laugh hysterically

1. Yes
2. No

1. Icon do that!
2. Icon Tina Turner
3. Icon see clearly now the rain has gone
4. Icon front end interfaces

1. Relax and just make sure the word EXCLUSIVE is even bigger on your front cover.
2. Ring the other magazine and propose that since both of you have been deluded, both magazines drop the game.
3. Do nothing
4. Take out all reference to the word EXCLUSIVE in the piece.

1. "an ordinary everyday BBC Micro"
2. "an ordinary micro - like this BBC for instance"
3. "your own micro - something like this BBC perhaps ..."
4. The Spectrum

1. A Vic20 complete with datacorder and software (Rat Maze 3K)
2. A Dragon 32
3. Ten copies of The Hobbit
4. Ten copies of StarGlider

1. It's a monster!
2. Monster value
3. A game that bites
4. Quite a good not too expensive value-for-money game

1. Sir Clive Sinclair
2. Santa Claus
3. Alan Sugar
4. David Bowie

Bet it was easier than you thought for you to start thinking like a computer industry person. Here are the results with explanations:

Add up your total number of points and check your industry rating below:

0-5 :
Oh dear, I'm afraid you have an awful lot to learn. You are so naive you probably still believe that one day people will learn to live in perfect peace and harmony.

51-150 :
You're beginning to wise up about things but you have a long way to go. Reality is even worse than you are beginning to suspect.

151-300 :
You've been around, probably bought a few duff tapes, had your computer blow up a few times and been told a complete pack of lies in high street shops. Somehow through it all you stick with computers because, what the hell, they're a lot of fun aren't they?