Having escaped the ministrations Of the sadistic Sisters of Health, we rode a short day and then made haste to replenish our energies. Zul and Zel cooked a great feast in the shadow of some ancient tomb lying some way off the roadside. Ivy tangled amongst its carved stonework and close inspection revealed an entrance.

The door fell into dust at the first touch. Iubba, clearly an expert tombrobber, lit his lamp, drew out an amulet which, he claimed, could prevent the attack of hostile spirits, and wandered in unconcerned.

I left him to it, having seen the inside of too many tombs in my time, and busied myself with rubbing horse linament into my aching sinews. Some wine and a haunch of meat renewed my interest in the finer things of life and, wiping the grease from my beard - I have grown it on the journey as is my practice - I sauntered over to the sepulchre. Iubba had been some time.

The sun was nearly down and the shadows were long and eerie. Suddenly there came a cry from within. I rushed to the doorway, drawing my dagger. The lamp lay flickering on the floor and next to it the amulet - peabrain Iubba had left it, thinking himself safe. Not so, for round him curled a monstrous wraith of green smokey mist. Its baleful, ghostly fangs were ready to engulf him and the coils squeezed him dry of breath.

I seized the amulet, yelled "Urth na vechad!" - a fine spell against such emanations - and hurled it at the thing. Foul smoke arose and blue sparks crackled. The wraith wailed, wavered and faded.

Sharpish we beat our retreat from the place. Happily we reached a wayside inn, The Mad Axeman, some miles on. We joined the crowd, fortified our quaking souls and swapped stories.

One band found endless problems in the time quests of Eureka! My knowledge of that is gathered from the fine maps and itineraries of The Frost of Montrose, Conqueror of Ket, to whom I owe great thanks, gladly given.

Paul the Almost-All-Powerful of Stockport and others could not find the Roman Witch nor knew what she required to help them. East of a hill there stands a cypress grove and her hut lies close to it. If you have a fossil tooth to give her she may well provide the recipe for a potion but you will need other treasures too.

Poor Paul's axe was blunt and he could find no whetstone - look in a stream when you leave the legion's camp, and find a suitable stone.

Midge Mount of Relensburgh had come across a white rabbit in the Arthurian Age. It had defied all his attempts at slaughter. A spare carrot could be useful here - rabbits are greedy and dropping the carrot may give results.

Tel Taylor of Lancashire answered Ironman Johnson's request to know the way to enter the Legion's camp. The guard will lapse at nightfall so wait before the camp 'til then. Nothing will bar your way thereafter. Tel will offer help with all of Eureka! if you write prepaid.

Bruiser Browne of Australia sought help with his Golden Apple. How, says he, shall I use the white handkerchief and what use is the parrot? If you are a snorer such as I you will know that a kerchief will protect the mouth while sleeping - from flies or what have you. Use it thus in the bedroom.

The parrot talks. Question it well and it should say '2B'. A computer will later use that statement. Trying my patience, this Bruiser then asks me how to take the emeralds from their glass case. Sing for it, my son, sing.

Krazy Kris Chesney of Bolton, drinking deep, told me of his tribulations in Hampstead. "Listen," he says, "All I have is a dead-end job at a merchant bank, no money to do anything, a car with nowhere to go, a useless filing cabinet and who's Pippa?" Such despair at so young an age! The key to his social problems is the cabinet. Going shopping at a large store and much curiosity about desks will bring some aid in opening the cabinet - life may suddenly look rosier then.

Hawkeye Hawkins asked for any help at all in being Bored of the Rings and also tells me there is another light source in Lords of Time - if you tell the tooth fairy the coin she gives you is not enough, she will produce a firefly. The fly is longer lasting than any candle. Now in 'Bored' the Nazguls in their C5s can be defeated by shooting the rifle - remember it destroys plastic. Rick the Boggit was also trapped in a willow tree - a call for help will bring Tim Bumbadil to your aid.

Off in a corner, Mighty McKinnon of Glynder passed on the secret of how to capture Zoff in Shadowfire. "Place Manto just outside the armoury and drop the transporter. Send another fighter into the armoury and then the Zoff quarters. Zoff will then move away past the armoury and out the door where Manto and the transporter wait. Manto must then activate the transporter and beam Zoff to the Enigma craft. But be quick with the transporter or Zoff will escape." This science is beyond me.

Lars Lindholm of Denmark, sailing with Erik the Viking, found that his vessel sank time and again. Nowhere could he find some wood to repair the dragonship. Well, there are some benches in Eric's home hall - broken up, those will make good planks and keep the ship seaworthy.

For £1.00 to cover the mail this Dane will send you maps and solutions to The Hobbit, Hampstead and a map of London and Leatherhead for Sherlock.

Pierre Miranda of Switzerland has trouble with Gremlins. He could not kill the dart-throwing Gremlin in the bedroom or find the Mogwai in the kitchen. The answer lies in the Peltzer - press its buttons to open new hiding places in the kitchen. You will find the Mogwai and a sharp knife to slay the darter. Good hunting.

So to bed, still quaking in our boots - I never take them off. Ride safely 'til next moon my friends. Farewell.

Gordo Greatbelly, Landlord

If you have a tale to tell, or are in need of a helping hand, write to the Landlord of the Dancing Ogre c/o Sinclair User, London.

Sinclair User
December 1985